Bad Melee’s Ultimate Team Name Collection
The Modern/Platinum Era of Melee has brought more good to the scene than anyone could have ever imagined. That being said, there have been many sacrifices made during the move to E-Sports land and one of those sacrifices stands out more to me than any others.
Team Names.
It wasn’t even like the removal of weird-ass team names was a necessity for us to get sponsored by Nintendo, Gaming Generations, or whatever the hell else, so regardless of whether the move to basic-ass names has been just a natural byproduct of the scene moving forward or everyone en massse deciding to be more boring, there really isn’t any reason for us to not have a little fun with names, right? See, I love teams. I do not love boring team names however. As it currently stands, we have teams like 4 Leaf Mango and Grab&Go which are at least different, but then the rest of them are “PewFat, Muffen (which is admittedly not that bad), Player A and Player B, or “Don’t Hate Us Because We’re Autistic” (shoutouts to MVG). It’s awful. Here, look at this-
1: You ain’t gonna tie me down (Hugs + Lucky)
2: and i got a mother****in grocery bag (S2J + Lovage)
3: Team Silent Bob (Scar + SS)
4: I let that thang go buck, till my wrist sprain and my fanga cut (HMW + DaShizWiz)
This is the Top 4 for the teams event at CGC @ San Francisco State XVI a while back. Tell me with a straight face that those names aren’t better than “Hugs and Lucky” or “HMW and DSW”. Maybe this is me getting passionate about something entirely insignificant, iduuno.
REGARDLESS
I have decided to take the initiative and create this page so that I, and anyone else who wishes to contribute, may help to build team names for every single teams combination out there. Maybe none of these team combinations will ever exist, and maybe none of these names will ever be used, but at the very least they’re funny to think about.
Westballz + HBOX= RestBallz
Mango + Armada= The Goat and The Boat
ChuDat + Axe= PikaChu
ChuDat + Porkchops= Dinner!
Silent Wolf + Shroomed= Yelling Wolf
Frootloop + Milkman= A Completed Bowl of Cereal
Plup + Fiction= Plup Fiction
StriCNYN3 + Blea Gelo= Team “No One Says Our Names Correctly On The First Try”
DruggedFox + Weon-X – Weon-Ecstasy
SwiftBass/Swift/Gibsonzero + Matt/Stab/KBJ = The Fuck Even Are Our Names?
Remen + Amsa= Egg Noodles
Chillin + Ice= ChillinDudes
Tope + Toph= “Wait Did You Say Tope or Toph?”
Korean DJ + DJ Nintendo= A Good Option For A“Before and After” Question on Melee Wheel of Fortune
NMW + HMW= Nick Made Waffles
KirbyKaze + Kage= Regrettable Initials
Colbol + S2J= Smoke 2 Bols
Th0rn + Bladewise= Bill and Ted’s Excellent Team
Bob$ + G$= $$
Leffen + SFat= CatDog
s0ft + Vanz= Vans® Latest Product Designed To Capture A Larger Share of the “Skaters With Sensitive Feet” Market
Wizzrobe + Darkrain= Boy II Man
Scar + Green Ranger= Only 90’s Kids Will Remember
HMW + Mango= Well-Balanced Breakfast
Leffen + MikeHaggar= When Pigs Fly
Darc + Shroomed= The Darcest Team
Ice + Chu Dat= A Cold Day in Melee Hell
Zorc + Ryan Ford= Ryan Fjord
Irish Mafia + Spud= A Stereotypical Pairing
Captain Smuckers + Mofo= Mother Smucker
Shroomed + Fly Amanita= Affinity for Mushrooms
Hax + Laudandus= A Common Enemy
Cactuar + th0rn= The Sharp Men
PC Chris + C!Z= C!Zgendered Scum
Wobbles + Twitch= Too Many Jägerbombs
S2J + Hax= #1 and #2 on the Water Drinking PR
The King + Lord= Royals by Lorde
Darkrain + Prince Abu= Kansas City Royals
Westballz + any puff main= Puff Adders
Eikelmann + Redd= The Redd Scare
Redd + The Moon= Lunar Eclipse
42nd + HugS= 171st (sorry hugs)
Mr LZ + Wizzrobe= Children of the Corn
CDK + Wizzrobe= Connor and a Kid
Hugs + Hungrybox= Hugs and Kisses
Scorpion Master + King= A 2002 American Epic Fiction Action Film Directed by Chuck Russell
gaR + lloD= Ragdoll
Swiftbass + Ryan Ford= SwiftRage
SFAT + StriCNYN3= Rodent Killers
Light + Lucien= Bilingual Light
Larry Lurr (DEHF) + KJH= Yes, Everybody Hates Falco
Silent Wolf + Ice= Ottobahn
thOrn + Mango= Billy and The Kid
Duck + Silent Wolf = The Brutal Reality of Nature
PKM Vodka + Eikelmann= Another Stereotypical Pairing
Tai + Taj= “I Love Your Mew2s”
Lucky + Duck= Lucky Duck
Strawhat Dahean + Shroomed= Strawhat Dajuan
Android + Alex 19= The One Android From DBZ That Looked Like A Mime For Some Reason
I.B + Eikelmann= Rush I.B Don’t Stop Сука Блять
Axe + Mango= AZUSA
PKM Vodka + Beer Man= Liquor Before Beer, You’re In The Clear
Lord + Lord HDL= Redundant
Captain Faceroll + Crush= Orange County Crush
C!Z + Dart!= An Exclamation Point
reaper + Jeapie= Choppy and Jeapie
CoolKid + Luigikid= Mutual Exclusion
Ryan Ford + Thomas= Ryan Fjord
Rudolph + Redd= Rudolph The Redd Nosed Reindeer
n0ne + Hanky Panky= ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
_____
Send me any names you have to me over Twitter
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Westballz + Mang0 = BallBuster
Hugs + PPMD = Don’t Touch Me There
Leffen + Leffen’s Ego = Actually Just Normal Leffen
Duck + Silent Wolf = The Sad Part of the Discovery Channel
Gonna change it to a sad segment on animal planet. That one is godlike
SilentSpectre + Jeapie = S2J
Hungrybox + Westballz = Hungryballz
MacD + Leffen = Mac-a-leffen
Shroomed + Plup = 2sheik
Armada + Android = Steampunk Army
“Regrettable Initials” is pure gold btw.
“An unfortunate team given Hungrybox’s propensity to rest and Hax’s inability to do so (get well soon Hax)” makes me lose my shit